A woman's affections are treacherous. There's a moment in Metropolis (2001) where Tima's secondary circuits are activated after she's shot in the chest, and it overrides all her humanity and feelings for Kenichi. This is essentially how it works in real life, except it's the ick.

And no, unlike the movie where the sheer devotion from Kenichi proves enough to disable her underlying program, the ick cannot be overcome, any more than you can will yourself back into pre-pubescent childhood.

Strangely enough, a metaphor for a relationship dying from the ick is David Cronenberg's "The Fly" (1986), where a mere teleportation accident turns a hopeful love affair into an operatic tragedy. Brundle's desperate attempt to undo is like every man's attempt to reject fate.

In essence, romantic tragedy happens when women obey an evolutionary prerogative to seek out more ideal mates to bear her children. Isn't it strange how the ick protects her from nerdiness, but not from predatory dark triad men?

(For context: her ex-boyfriend had given her the reptilian stare while she was having a celebratory dinner over her friend moving out of town. A red flag I should have picked up on was how she talked about him almost admiringly in DMs, saying things like how he got his dream job and everything. I opened my feelings up for her, and she said she wasn't interested in a relationship. Later, as she went on a business trip out of state, her ex-boyfriend found her and they went up to her hotel room where they fucked, and then had dinner over moving in together. If you're not familiar with this pattern already, she is the victim of narcissistic sex-bombing.

I felt a connection with her that I never did with other women, and turned to the idea of twin flames in an attempt to reverse this strange turn of events. But my emotions and energy ballooned out of control, and I ended up hospitalized in the mental health system. She deleted her X/Twitter before replying back to me.)

Petit-Moi: There's a lot I want to say, but as you might tell from my tweets to you I've been hospitalized for bipolar disorder. I had a spiritual awakening experience and I want to say I'm sorry I didn't stay by your side when your ex magically showed up back in your life.

Look, you didn't know any better and neither did I at the time. He STOLE you in Oregon, and I only want to hear of your happiness and well-being with your family, away from that idiot.

I feel unconditionally accepted by you, during all those times we played and chatted together. You are a beautiful person Claudia, and I wish we could be together again.

James

⬩

Hi James,

I am so sorry to hear what you have been going through. I have been planning to delete my social medias that I have been on for months now. I no longer have my discord but I can create one in a few weeks: some of your kid friends where harassing me so I didn’t log in to anything. I blocked my Fortnite account as well just because I didn’t want to hear them. I no longer will be online. We currently suffered a loss that was supposed to be the best thing for me and my boyfriend and I know you dont like to hear about him. We lost a child and right now we are just trying to figure things out. We may move to Utah but we are not too sure yet. It’s good to hear from you James and I really hope you get better soon.

Hi James this is an email I will be deleting soon, I dont use this one very much or even open it except for a few times every few weeks. I’ll will get a discord later on. Right now we are working on figuring out some stuff. I hope you understand.

..

I’ll make sure to watch [the MV I made of Life is Strange] soon. We are starting over and trying to look into Utah and Colorado for a fresh start. I dont do social media anymore and stuff. I may not even go on console anymore. With this loss it just feels like we can’t breath here and need to move further.

I never meant to hurt you James, I hope you understand that is the truth.

(She deleted her email afterward and blocked me upon further contact over the Xbox app. It's worth noting how she spun the entire conversation onto her situation, and she lied about deleting her Fortnite account when she merely renamed it. There was no place for me in her heart anymore.)

Remember: love yourself always when others fail to love you in return. And forgive her betrayal, as you'll forgive those who resort to cannibalism to stave off hunger. Your capacity to know love is what makes you truly human.